It's New Year's Eve and 2010 is almost here. That means, in less than a month, I will celebrate my 39th birthday. It will be the last birthday of my 30s.
So, I've got a year to get my butt in gear and do all the things I need to do to prepare for my 40s. I don't know what those things are. But, like I've been told 40 is the new 30 and I'm sticking with that. Not that my 30s sucked, necessarily. I mean, I did have two wonderful daughters during this decade. That in itself makes the decade the best ever.
Other than the girls, the first decade of the millennium (thus far) hasn't been the best I've ever had. Some of the years were better than others. There have been setbacks and struggles and I have yet to accomplish a lot of the goals I've set for myself.
I'm going to keep them on the to-do list, though. Well, I may not actually do them, but they'll be there, on my mind, gnawing away at me and reminding me of my shortfalls whenever possible. Will 2010 be my year? I sure hope so.
Thursday, December 31, 2009
Tuesday, December 29, 2009
Deserving
For Christmas, I got a wonderful gift from some wonderful women. I am going to get a professional photo session for my daughters with the most awesome photographer. If you read this blog, and you haven't heard of Surprise Photography, do yourself a favor and check it out today. The other woman who got me the gift is one of my BFFs - another fantastic artist who runs TyBro Treasures. (Check that one out too).
Anyway, here are these two beautiful moms who each have two handsome boys and husbands and lives and they've found the time to create their own businesses and be successful doing what they love. I admire them and think the world of them. But, they told me that they think the world of me. That I deserve this wonderful gift, and I don't feel that I do. I guess I should since they're assuring me I do, but I've lived a whole life thinking that I don't deserve such wonderful presents. Maybe it's more than being too humble - maybe it's some type of self-esteem issue. Whatever it is, I need to get over it. Because, if I have gals like this telling me I deserve something, I need to wake up and believe it!
So, thanks H and M for this wonderful gift and for being such fantastic women!
Anyway, here are these two beautiful moms who each have two handsome boys and husbands and lives and they've found the time to create their own businesses and be successful doing what they love. I admire them and think the world of them. But, they told me that they think the world of me. That I deserve this wonderful gift, and I don't feel that I do. I guess I should since they're assuring me I do, but I've lived a whole life thinking that I don't deserve such wonderful presents. Maybe it's more than being too humble - maybe it's some type of self-esteem issue. Whatever it is, I need to get over it. Because, if I have gals like this telling me I deserve something, I need to wake up and believe it!
So, thanks H and M for this wonderful gift and for being such fantastic women!
Wednesday, December 23, 2009
Ticking Clock
Today, my youngest wanted to watch Dr. Phil. Well, she didn't really, but we watched it long enough to get the gist of the program. There was a 29-year-old woman who was feeling a lot of pressure to get married. There was a 48-year-old woman who was rushing into marriage because she is afraid of never being a mom and a wife.
I'm 38. Okay, I'll be 39 next month. But, it got me to thinking about my biological clock. What if I decide to have another child? Could I? Should I?
It's different for men. My dad was married three times and had my sister when he was 36 or 37. Had he been the pregnant woman, he would have been considered high-risk. I know there are plenty of women who have babies after they turn 40, but who wants to be considered high-risk and go through all of that? Who wants to be sharing the waiting room at the OB/GYN with a 23-year-old girl? Technically, I'm old enough to be a grandmother! I don't want to be the mom who gets mistaken for grandma when I'm picking up my kid at school.
I just felt so bad for this woman who was rushing to get married. She had been dating him for 8 months and he had cheated on her but she was still going through with it. She was so desperate to be a wife and mom that she basically gave up herself. It was like she was selling her soul to get those things.
I can understand her dilemma. Some people would rather be in a bad marriage just to be married and have someone with them. Granted, I don't want to be alone when I'm old and gray, but I don't want to settle either. If I need company, I'll just get a cat.
I'm 38. Okay, I'll be 39 next month. But, it got me to thinking about my biological clock. What if I decide to have another child? Could I? Should I?
It's different for men. My dad was married three times and had my sister when he was 36 or 37. Had he been the pregnant woman, he would have been considered high-risk. I know there are plenty of women who have babies after they turn 40, but who wants to be considered high-risk and go through all of that? Who wants to be sharing the waiting room at the OB/GYN with a 23-year-old girl? Technically, I'm old enough to be a grandmother! I don't want to be the mom who gets mistaken for grandma when I'm picking up my kid at school.
I just felt so bad for this woman who was rushing to get married. She had been dating him for 8 months and he had cheated on her but she was still going through with it. She was so desperate to be a wife and mom that she basically gave up herself. It was like she was selling her soul to get those things.
I can understand her dilemma. Some people would rather be in a bad marriage just to be married and have someone with them. Granted, I don't want to be alone when I'm old and gray, but I don't want to settle either. If I need company, I'll just get a cat.
Sunday, December 20, 2009
Gossip Girl
I am the topic of some recent gossip and I don't know whether to be offended or flattered.
It's not something I want to publicize, but in the past few months, I have gone through two very life-changing events. I shared the news with only a small group of friends. Well, there was a leak in my watertight ship and the news floated away. But it wasn't lost at sea like the proverbial message in a bottle. Instead, the life raft found its way to several islands that have high-tech communication systems. Oh, yes, the phone calls, texts, and instant messages were flying!
Did you hear? Did you know? Apparently, it's pretty important to be the first person to know something. I never learned that so I guess I wasn't paying attention in gossip class in high school.
My BFF-MG told me I have to suck it up because I am a pretty hot piece of gossip right now. And, I agree. I would probably share this news with her if I got it from someone else! But, here's why I'm offended....
The women who are gossiping are the type that claim to be friends. They tell the BFFs - "oh, she's been so distant" or "oh, I hope she's okay." If you cared so friggin' much, why wouldn't you pick up the phone and call me and check in instead of another person to share the info? I don't get that. Not that I want to share any of my private life with some of these women, but I just can't stand phony people who act (to others) that they're so caring and thoughtful, but then really do nothing but think of themselves.
For now, I'll stick with being flattered. It's not too often that my life is so interesting that it causes fingers to fly on the phone buttons, so I'll roll with it.
Go ahead and gossip. It's okay. It's natural and most people just love it. Remember Olympia Dukakis in Steel Magnolias? "If you don't have anything nice to say about someone, come sit by me."
It's not something I want to publicize, but in the past few months, I have gone through two very life-changing events. I shared the news with only a small group of friends. Well, there was a leak in my watertight ship and the news floated away. But it wasn't lost at sea like the proverbial message in a bottle. Instead, the life raft found its way to several islands that have high-tech communication systems. Oh, yes, the phone calls, texts, and instant messages were flying!
Did you hear? Did you know? Apparently, it's pretty important to be the first person to know something. I never learned that so I guess I wasn't paying attention in gossip class in high school.
My BFF-MG told me I have to suck it up because I am a pretty hot piece of gossip right now. And, I agree. I would probably share this news with her if I got it from someone else! But, here's why I'm offended....
The women who are gossiping are the type that claim to be friends. They tell the BFFs - "oh, she's been so distant" or "oh, I hope she's okay." If you cared so friggin' much, why wouldn't you pick up the phone and call me and check in instead of another person to share the info? I don't get that. Not that I want to share any of my private life with some of these women, but I just can't stand phony people who act (to others) that they're so caring and thoughtful, but then really do nothing but think of themselves.
For now, I'll stick with being flattered. It's not too often that my life is so interesting that it causes fingers to fly on the phone buttons, so I'll roll with it.
Go ahead and gossip. It's okay. It's natural and most people just love it. Remember Olympia Dukakis in Steel Magnolias? "If you don't have anything nice to say about someone, come sit by me."
Thursday, December 17, 2009
Making changes
I posted a while back about making New Year's resolutions - something I rarely do, because I don't believe in setting myself for failure. But, I realize that change can be a good thing, so I started early. This way, they're not actually New Year's resolutions. Instead, they will be promises I make to myself with no expectations. Yeah, I know, it's still the same thing, just a different time frame.
So, I've lost 16 pounds and I am determined to not eat anything after 9 p.m. That is a huge thing for me. I've also been trying to cut out sugar, but that is like, the hardest thing ever! Sugar substitute is really no substitute. And, it's not like I'm a sugar addict. I can eat corn flakes without sugar. I can eat oatmeal without it. But tea? No. Can't do it. Well, I can, but I don't like it as much. Oh, and did I mention I've cut out a lot of caffeine? So, decaf tea with no sugar? Not a fan. But, I'm doing it. I'm making myself do it because I know that if you stick with something, you will get used to it. Thank God I'm not a coffee person!
I'm still not doing too well on my quest to find more patience. But, I am less grumpy in the morning and am hoping that is the first step to becoming a morning person. I get all these e-mails from people at 5 or 6 or 7 in the morning. I love that! They're up and already doing stuff and ready to face the day! I wonder if they're happy to be up that early - tip-toeing around the house in the wee hours so as not to wake anyone else. They're sitting there happily listening to the birds chirp and feeling the warmth of the sun as it rises. Could be that they just can't sleep and they're bundled up in a blanket and are dreading the rest of the day and just dying for a cup of coffee. Who knows? doesn't matter. They're up. They're ready! That will be me some day!
So, I've lost 16 pounds and I am determined to not eat anything after 9 p.m. That is a huge thing for me. I've also been trying to cut out sugar, but that is like, the hardest thing ever! Sugar substitute is really no substitute. And, it's not like I'm a sugar addict. I can eat corn flakes without sugar. I can eat oatmeal without it. But tea? No. Can't do it. Well, I can, but I don't like it as much. Oh, and did I mention I've cut out a lot of caffeine? So, decaf tea with no sugar? Not a fan. But, I'm doing it. I'm making myself do it because I know that if you stick with something, you will get used to it. Thank God I'm not a coffee person!
I'm still not doing too well on my quest to find more patience. But, I am less grumpy in the morning and am hoping that is the first step to becoming a morning person. I get all these e-mails from people at 5 or 6 or 7 in the morning. I love that! They're up and already doing stuff and ready to face the day! I wonder if they're happy to be up that early - tip-toeing around the house in the wee hours so as not to wake anyone else. They're sitting there happily listening to the birds chirp and feeling the warmth of the sun as it rises. Could be that they just can't sleep and they're bundled up in a blanket and are dreading the rest of the day and just dying for a cup of coffee. Who knows? doesn't matter. They're up. They're ready! That will be me some day!
Monday, December 7, 2009
Come on, get happy
I just finished an article about how to make yourself happy and have a happy family. It was pretty good - wish I remember more of it, but I was reading it in spurts (you know, in the bathroom, the way most good reading gets done).
But, the one thing I do remember it saying was, even if you aren't happy about something - fake it! If you can act happy, you can almost trick yourself into believing that you are happy!
I'm giving it a go. One word that would never be used to describe me is happy and I long for it. I see people who are content and seem to not let things bother them and who smile and seem to genuinely enjoy things and I wish I could be that way. I would like to be calm and easy going and patient and not let things bother me - especially little things.
So, I've got to add this to my "to-do before I'm 40" list. I'm going to learn how to fake being happy. I'm going to smile until my cheeks hurt. Even if it's fake, it's got to rub off a little bit!
But, the one thing I do remember it saying was, even if you aren't happy about something - fake it! If you can act happy, you can almost trick yourself into believing that you are happy!
I'm giving it a go. One word that would never be used to describe me is happy and I long for it. I see people who are content and seem to not let things bother them and who smile and seem to genuinely enjoy things and I wish I could be that way. I would like to be calm and easy going and patient and not let things bother me - especially little things.
So, I've got to add this to my "to-do before I'm 40" list. I'm going to learn how to fake being happy. I'm going to smile until my cheeks hurt. Even if it's fake, it's got to rub off a little bit!
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