Lately, there are a few things that I have wanted to go a certain way and they haven't. And I have gotten angry and frustrated and disappointed and try to will them to go my way. Didn't work. But, I didn't give up. You'd think that not giving up on something is a good thing. But, what if the thing you're trying to get is BAD for you?
I thought about it - a lot. Night and day, I thought about how my life would be different if I just got this one thing to work out. In my vision, my life was better and I was so much happier. But, that's just my vision. It was great because that's what I was making it! Why would anyone make a dream turn out bad? Why would you not want the "happily ever after" to come true?
If you wanted a relationship to start, would you envision it going down in flames? No, you'd see yourself arm in arm with the guy, waving the kids off to school and then hugging before you went back to the house to snuggle and spend the day showing how much you loved each other.
So, why do I think that just because I want something it's the right thing for me? I think God is sending me a message. I think He is letting me know that the thing I've been after isn't the best option for my life. My problem is that I haven't been listening. I've been ignoring the signs.
Okay, not anymore. I still want some things, but I'm beginning to get it. I want them, but that will be that. Doesn't mean I'll get my way.
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