Getting out of town

Talking to a friend yesterday and he tells me he's just finished booking his summer vacation. He says it will be peaceful and relaxing - just him and a cocktail and a book, lounging on the beach, disconnecting from the world. Okay, sure, sounds great. Where you going? Key West? Bermuda? Mexico?

Africa.

No really, where are you going?

Africa. Some remote island off the coast of Africa.

Luckily, we're talking on the phone and he can't see the screwed up expression on my face that is being caused by my racing mind asking a zillion questions - the first of which is... Africa? Like, how random is that? When I think of setting up a relaxing beach vacation, that is not the first continent that comes to mind, you know? Then, of course, I'm thinking this poor guy is going to spend his week inside a hut under a mosquito net worrying about malaria and his first trip outside to the beach, he'll be attacked by a lion or something and die! How can you read a book when those possibilities exist?

When I first met this guy, his farthest trip was to Canada. And that's not sayin' much when you live in upstate New York. Apparently, in the years that we lost touch, he's become this seasoned world traveler and has made visits to six of the seven continents. All of a sudden, he's a jet-setter and he's jazzed about the trip to the Island of Malaria (or whatever it's called). He says I should get away and do something like that. Hello. Are you kidding? Have you met me? There is no way I'm leaving my kids for a week - I'd be more stressed thinking about them home without me and would have no energy to relax.

Besides that, I don't think I'm all that adventurous. I just can't see myself in a place where insects can kill you and disease hangs in the air. I remember when my sister went to India. She had to get like 47 shots or something. I don't really want to brush my teeth with bottled water. Knowing me, I'd forget and use the tap and spend the whole week waiting for explosive diarrhea and some e-coli. Sounds like a great vacation. Send me a postcard.